The old David Chappelle sketch, “When Keeping It Real Goes
Wrong,” should be used as an educational tool since it presents insightful satire
on when people pretend to be something that they are not.
In the above skit, Vernon Franklin is a vice president who
becomes annoyed when one of his colleagues harmlessly demonstrates cultural
appropriation by insisting that Vernon was “Da Man” and should give the
colleague “some skin," in an obvious attempt at using idioms most often attributed to black people.
Vernon is taken aback and rightly annoyed by this type of
micro-aggression on the part of his colleague.
Would Vernon's colleague demonstrate this behavior to one of his white co-workers? What is Vernon supposed to do, when all he wants is to be treated like everybody else? Should he sit quietly, smile and suck
up to the insensitivity displayed by this man who “mentored” him?
In this instance, Vernon chooses to “keep it real” by taking
what many consider the “low road” and lets his colleagues have a piece of
his mind. (Watch the clip).
This was probably not the best way for Vernon to handle the situation. However, the sketch itself is absolutely BRILLIANT.
How may times have some of us been in situations where we had to bite our tongues despite knowing that something about a conversation or interaction didn’t feel quite
right? Often we replay these exchanges over and over in our heads…It’s not a good feeling,
and it makes me wish that more people would “keep it real,” instead of going
along to get along. For me, I wouldn’t have to pretend to like people that I
don’t like, and they wouldn’t have to pretend to like me.
No doubt one of the saddest affects of being politically
correct is that it encourages deception, repression and hypocritical behavior
that ultimately doesn’t reflect who we really are. In other words, we hold back from
embracing ourselves and living fully.
There is nothing more annoying than having to smile, deal with someone's foolishness, and
be the “bigger person.”
And so it is my suggestion to “keep it real”…but within the framework of emotional and behavioral self-control.
A perfect example of how to do this was on June 15th when a
blogger/right-wing journalist rudely interrupted President Obama as he gave a
prepared statement in the Rose Garden of the White Hose. The journalist, Neil
Munro, was completely out of line and demonstrated a lack of professional decorum. Yet, the President, obviously angered by the man’s antics, called him out on his inappropriate
and disrespectful actions; and he did so in a relatively calm, cool and collected manner.
I applaud the President for “keeping it real," while
providing guidelines on how to handle similar situations.
1. Choose
Your Battles Wisely.
There are situations where it’s just better
to walk away, and those situations will vary. Be wise!
2. Make
Sure You Are Able To Set Aside Any Emotions.
We are human and sometimes our emotions can
get the best us. Try to set these feelings aside in favor of being rational.
This will pay big dividends.
3. Know The Difference Between Being The Bigger Person and Being A Passive Person.
Refusing to address blatant disrespect
gives people permission to continue their egregious behavior. Being the bigger person
sometimes means calling people out. Being a passive person can cost you your professional and personal
credibility.
4. Listen,
Listen, Listen!
People will say/do stupid yet subtle things
to let you know where you stand with them--if you only give them a chance. Listen to their words and observe their behavior. Incongruence between words and actions are a tell-tell sign of not keeping it real.
In this way, instead of “Keeping it Real” going wrong, it can
go very right without compromising who you are in the moments that matter.
Finally, Dr. Martin Luther King once said that, “Our lives
begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” Our lives
matter! Don’t be silent!! Keep it Real!!!
Until next Monday...Wu Tang!!
